Coaching against life failures and problems

Each of us has had unpleasant moments in our lives — we were not hired, initiatives in some new business you chose failed, it was not possible to build strong relationships with the opposite sex, and so on. This list can go on for a long time. Of course, all these failures are ordinary things in people’s lives, but often after them you just lose heart and you no longer want to try again. And even if the desire remained, there could also be an unpleasant aftertaste. In these cases, in order to achieve what you want, you can use the technique of experience modification.

It will help you better understand yourself, deal with the past, develop a strategy to achieve the goal and come to it, get rid of bad habits, find your advantages, and so on. Generally speaking, this technique is needed in order to get rid of destructive internal attitudes based on previous experience. In addition, the experience modification technique also serves as a system for achieving your goals. And although this technique alone will not solve your problem, it will definitely guide you in the right direction. And then it’s up to you.

So, how to apply the technique of experience modification. To do this, you will need a pen, paper and a certain amount of free time, which may vary depending on the specific situation.

Before we proceed to the algorithm for completing the task, we need to make a reservation that by “negative” experience we will mean not only an unpleasant experience, but also one that was not so unpleasant, but everything could have turned out better.

Start by forming a problem and a goal. Then describe your negative experience in detail. Specify: what exactly happened; where, how and when it happened; remember all the participants in the situation; evaluate what happened on a ten-point scale; write down which of what happened was the most unpleasant.

Now think about how events should have developed in order for the situation to develop the way you would like.

Using the verbs of the present tense, as if everything is happening here and now, rewrite history with your corrections.

Rate it from one to ten.

If your “corrected” story didn’t get a top ten, go back to the third point and think it over again.